It's not unhelpful. (known weakness and aversions give her a place to start from. as for wolfsbane...she'll have to look. it's not an ingredient she's needed in the past in her time in hell so she doesn't know off hand. at this point she tries to keep stock of what's easier to get a hand on and what isn't as far as potion and spell making goes.)
I'll ask around about the wolfsbane. It wouldn't hurt to use some if I could get my hands on it. Maybe some ground up silver too. It might take some experimentation to find out what works.
(aka she may harm or hurt his friends in the process of trying to weaken them. not that she has any intention to, but there's no other way to really test things out.)
After I talk to Geralt I can see if he has any ideas to contribute. (which is her subtle way of telling him she's working herself up to that conversation. between talking to jaskier and tech she knows she can't hide away forever, as tempting as the idea is. and it gives hell the upper hand, something she's deeply adverse to.)
[Jaskier isn't exactly leaping for joy at the prospect of Dylan or Laura becoming more or less science experiments. But it's not a choice for him to make in the end, and it's something for each to decide for themselves if they're going to partake in it. Although in some ways, it certainly already seems a done deal. Dylan may not have the stomach necessarily for it and need to talk himself into it, but Jaskier can't imagine him saying no. And Laura? Well, it's really not in question that she'd down whatever Yennefer put in front of her even on a maybe. She was too decisive and no-nonsense to start overthinking it like Dylan.]
[But even as Jaskier has his own reservations, he still nods as she mentions the need to experiment as though it were the most natural thing in the world.]
I'll let them know and have them talk with you, and let the three of you handle it from there. [There's a small beat before he adds,] Once you have a chance to speak with Geralt.
[Jaskier chooses to leave it at that. He said that he would leave things more or less in Yennefer's hands as far as deciding how she wants to handle things, and he meant it. It wasn't up for Jaskier to decide when and how they had their conversation. The most he could do as far as Geralt was concerned was try to keep Geralt from dwelling on it. Not that Jaskier's had much luck in that arena. Oh no, if anything, Jaskier's felt he's somehow made the dwelling all the more intense. And yet, at the same time, he's not sure if that's true. It seems just as likely to him that the outcome would be the same sans Geralt speaking of it aloud to another person. Jaskier glances down at his own hands in his lap for a moment before looking to Yennefer.]
[It's good that she's almost ready to tell him. It's not... Well, no. It is deeply frustrating to Geralt this time around to have her suddenly vanish from his life without explanation or any opportunity to talk it through. But beneath that frustration is the hurt. The ache that Jaskier knows Geralt feels because he feels he's done something wrong and hasn't been provided the opportunity to fix it. But then there's Yennefer's own aches, too. The anxiety that she's destroyed not just what they were back home, but everything they've built here, too. Just when all those doubts of her own had finally begun to ease about them, too. And then there's...]
[Well, that doesn't particularly matter right this moment. There will be time for that later at some point after the dust has settled and Jaskier will figure it out as he always does.]
[It's good that she's almost ready to tell him. Hopefully soon. And then no one needs to hold their breath any longer waiting to see what fractures and what pieces need picking back up.]
Well, you ladies must be exhausted after such a long day. [Jaskier pats Yennefer on the knee with a smile before pushing himself to stand up.] But like I said, you need more pillows, you're going to have to find them yourself. [He clicks his tongue as he begins to step away.] I really should have just brought you a rock from outside. It's what a horrid thief such as yourself deserves.
(contrary to popular belief but yennefer isn't really thrilled about the idea of human experimentation either. not after her own experiences. or geralt's. not that she's planning on making anything as tolling as the trial of the grasses but still. if there was another way she would take it. but she doesn't see one. but she won't do it until she's reasonably sure she has something worth taking the risk on.
she was going to say more on that subject but then he mentions geralt and pulls away, making jokes as he always does. but yennefer doesn't need to read minds to know that's a defense mechanism. or know that it's been hard on him being stuck in the middle of things. that things may be harder for him once the pieces all fall apart as she's so certain they will. the fact that she can poke around in people's minds only confirms her suspicions of why he's pulling away.
without thinking she leans forward to grab his hand, scaring poor calanthe out of her lap in the process. what she wants to say she isn't sure. it isn't in yennefer to thank people. but whether she expresses that gratitude or not violet eyes meet all too bright blue ones and she probably gives herself away more than she means to in that gaze. it reminds her a little of the one they shared on the boat, the one that stirred her into action when she realized he was in trouble.)
What? No good luck or good riddance this time? I'd think you'd be happy to have me out of your hair soon.
(it's meant to be a joke but her voice comes out softer, more intimate than she intends.)
[When Yennefer reaches and grabs his hand, Jaskier stops. Aside from how her hand holding his prevents him from going much further without yanking his hand away—a thing he doesn't have any particular desire to do—her reaching for him physically snatches away his attention like it always manages to do, always taking him a little by surprise no matter how often it seems to happen these days.]
[He lets out a breath of laughter.]
Unfortunately, my dear lady, I believe like certain other ships of yours, that one has also sailed, wrecked, and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Although not for a lack of trying, mind you. [Jaskier squeezes her hand lightly, but much like her it's more his eyes than anything that gives away what he means to say.] I recall trying for a good number of years to be rid of you, but you've proven an even more troublesome and persistent parasite than I thought possible.
So, I'm afraid I'm quite stuck with you. And you with me.
[I love you. Despite how hard it is, I love you.]
[And it is hard. It hurts to some extent or another, in varying degrees from moment to moment since he's found himself caught in the middle of the storm that is Geralt and Yennefer. But still, Jaskier is unwavering. His love doesn't fade, bend, or break under any of it or when he feels paralyzed by indecision of what's the right course of action to take next.]
(yennefer is not by nature a touchy-feely person. touch is usually purposeful, calculated, a manipulation as much as everything else can be. but with jaskier...she just finds herself acting on impulse. maybe because it feels safe too, and has since even before she got her memories updated. his gaze his so soft and his words so earnest she wonders for a moment what it would be like to kiss him -- to really kiss him, without hell's influence or machinations behind it. it's a thought she tries to push away as quickly as it crops up. she doesn't need to put him even more in the middle of things between her and geralt.
but a selfish part of her wants to. she wants to believe she deserves this kind of tenderness, this kind of loyalty and belief that she'll do the right thing, even if it takes her a moment to get there.)
I suppose I could do worse than being stuck with such a loyal magpie.
(you shouldn't. when she glimpses his thoughts of love all she can think of is that he shouldn't. for so many reasons. but one can't control their heart, much as she has tried, time and time again.)
[Jaskier makes a production out of rolling his eyes, heaving such a heavy sigh at once again being called magpie. But there's very little in his body language or his thoughts that would even begin to suggest any sort of genuine irritation at the nickname. Jaskier's come to accept it at this point, so whatever initial irritation had been there has long since left him. Besides, it's difficult to be all that put out by it when it's an acknowledgment of his offered friendship toward her even when she had no idea fully why he was offering it in the first place. Every time it took a bit more of the sting away from her heated accusation that he was only manipulating her to protect Geralt.]
Back on that again, are we? [He clicks his tongue.] I'm going to have to stop giving you presents altogether for you to abandon that, aren't I? Absurd... Well! Ignoring your nonsense as usual and to your point, yes. You could do infinitely worse with the lot around here.
I am fairly certain most of them wouldn't have the tolerance or stomach for watching you gobble down bats or bugs or whatever it is you eat when you refuse to come out of your cave and grace us with your presence. Fortunately, our years together make me rather immune to it. I only feel mild nausea at this point after a few hours with you and can manage a light snack within minutes of trying to get the smell and horror out of my mind.
[Jaskier pats the back of her hand in his before lightly rubbing it as one might when offering consolation.]
Perhaps in another decade or two, when we figure out how to keep you from biting stray animals and frothing at the mouth the moment someone makes eye contact, we'll manage another friend for you. There's hope for you yet, Yennefer!
[It's really been a long time since Jaskier's pettier insults have had any bite to them. He hasn't attempted to needle her into a terrible or otherwise frustrated mood in a very long time. But since Yennefer awoke with memories, there's been a gentleness there against all odds. It's not so much that Jaskier's insults have become toothless so much as they tend to err on the side of playful. Almost like sharing in a joke that no one else could possibly understand save the two of them.]
(his insults are playful and his threats benign. she doubts he'll stop bringing her things any time soon, even if he doesn't have to prove his usefulness to her anymore like he did when she didn't remember everything that went down back in their own world.)
I don't think you're in any place to mock what I eat. I don't pick up random bowls in a witcher's lab and start munching on who knows what like it's sweets. You're like a child, take my eyes off you for five minutes and who knows what you'll put in your mouth.
(her barbs are equally playful, accompanied by an arched brow, as if daring him to try to argue against her point.)
[Jaskier's jaw drops immediately at the accusation of being like a child. He doesn't quite make it into a sputter, but a hand finds its way to his hip as he takes a little half-step back at the audacity of her accusation. Even so, he does not let go of her hand.]
First of all, madam, I knew what I was eating, alright? Yeah, I did. [...Does she believe him? She probably shouldn't. But he doesn't leave her any room to make any sort of argument or poke holes in his defense. It is, after all, not much of a defense, so he must move onto clearly better points in his argument.] Second, that was months ago to me, Yennefer. Old news. Ancient history! Much like your sense of fashion, I must say. So, if you're going to offer criticism about me, perhaps try for something a little more recent, won't you? And third, I don't just put whatever is lying around in my mouth and swallow it! If you think you've ever seen me do as much, those lovely eyes that allow you to navigate those sewers you so prefer are clearly beginning to fail you.
(there's so much she could say to all of that. like. a lot. there's a lot to unpack there. but instead she simply smiles at him, a mixture of teasing and real affection there, a smile that actually reaches her eyes for once. speaking of....)
You think my eyes are pretty.
(yeah, that was clearly the thing to take away there.)
[For a moment, Jaskier's a little too distracted to say or do much of anything. Yennefer isn't exactly stoic. She smiles plenty. But there's something incredibly genuine about that smile on her face now, and it creates a sort of vulnerability and near-intimacy that Jaskier's not quite used to seeing from her. He seems to realize there's been a lapse in their back and forth though and shakes his head slightly.]
What? No. No, I didn't say that. That was sarcasm, Yennefer. Everyone knows you have beady eyes. One might even perhaps describe them as shifty given your tendency for nefarious plots. Not pretty eyes.
[Jaskier is completely full of it and Yennefer doesn't even need to begin to read his mind to know that.]
Some might argue that prettiness helps with my nefarious plots.
(she was taught how to use her words and beauty as weapons as much as her magic, after all. but mostly she's just continuing to give him shit because she can.)
It's okay, I won't tell anyone you find them pretty. It can be our secret.
[Jaskier offers her a sarcastic little laugh in return.]
Even if that were true, you know as well as I that it wouldn't distract me. Everyone else might trip all over themselves for the sake of your looks, Yennefer, but I could never be counted among them.
[And that is mostly true. It's absolutely untrue the idea that Jaskier doesn't find her beautiful. Anyone with eyes would find her beautiful even in the absence of attraction to her particular sort of beauty. But there is still truth in the notion that Jaskier's not about to suddenly become blinded by her looks. That's not even truthfully what he finds to be so appealing about her anyway. It's merely a bonus.]
Beady. And starting to collect horrendous dark circles and bags beneath them, too. You really should sleep. Or find some virgin blood to rub in or whatever it is you do.
It's true. Not that I've ever bothered putting the effort into charming you.
(even when they first met it had been more about scaring and intimidating him into making wishes than anything else. why charm someone when you can threaten their vocal chords and potentially get more results?)
I don't get dark circles. But good try Bard. (she could use a nap or twenty though, she hasn't been sleeping great what with...everything...)
[Jaskier probably wouldn't have enjoyed being charmed any more than he did being threatened, anyway. Geralt not being there and with limited memories of the day before would have left Jaskier far too on edge to trust it as genuine. But, more importantly, as Jaskier said: he's immune to it anyway.]
Uh-huh. And you've never had a bad hair day in your entire life, right?
[He raises an eyebrow because they both know she can't possibly begin to claim she's always had perfect hair all the time. Not to say that she didn't do well enough when crawling out of a sewer or while she was ill not that long ago. Considering both circumstances, she did quite well, actually! But it was far from her usual presentation and were it in Yennefer's ability to control, she wouldn't have likely set foot out in public in either circumstance.]
(not just those times, but before aretuza as well. jaskier would probably never believe there was a time yennefer's hair was always a mess, covered in hay and who knows what else from sleeping out with the pigs but luckily for him, he's never going to know about it. not if yennefer has any say in it. she left that girl behind when she left aretuza.)
I seem to remember someone being quite willing to help me out the last time I had one.
(yes yennefer, he braided your hair because he figured you'd only accept his comfort if it was practical. )
Yes, well, I was the one who had to keep looking at you. Every mirror surely would have shattered had I opted not to do something. So, you're welcome.
[Even now, Jaskier protects his full reasons for wanting to braid her hair that night. Not that he thinks Yennefer would be particularly angry to know the full extent of his reasons for it. Not now. It just seems something better left unsaid is all.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
decided this happens after his talk with geralt not that she would know that but dwi
It's not unhelpful. (known weakness and aversions give her a place to start from. as for wolfsbane...she'll have to look. it's not an ingredient she's needed in the past in her time in hell so she doesn't know off hand. at this point she tries to keep stock of what's easier to get a hand on and what isn't as far as potion and spell making goes.)
I'll ask around about the wolfsbane. It wouldn't hurt to use some if I could get my hands on it. Maybe some ground up silver too. It might take some experimentation to find out what works.
(aka she may harm or hurt his friends in the process of trying to weaken them. not that she has any intention to, but there's no other way to really test things out.)
After I talk to Geralt I can see if he has any ideas to contribute. (which is her subtle way of telling him she's working herself up to that conversation. between talking to jaskier and tech she knows she can't hide away forever, as tempting as the idea is. and it gives hell the upper hand, something she's deeply adverse to.)
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[But even as Jaskier has his own reservations, he still nods as she mentions the need to experiment as though it were the most natural thing in the world.]
I'll let them know and have them talk with you, and let the three of you handle it from there. [There's a small beat before he adds,] Once you have a chance to speak with Geralt.
[Jaskier chooses to leave it at that. He said that he would leave things more or less in Yennefer's hands as far as deciding how she wants to handle things, and he meant it. It wasn't up for Jaskier to decide when and how they had their conversation. The most he could do as far as Geralt was concerned was try to keep Geralt from dwelling on it. Not that Jaskier's had much luck in that arena. Oh no, if anything, Jaskier's felt he's somehow made the dwelling all the more intense. And yet, at the same time, he's not sure if that's true. It seems just as likely to him that the outcome would be the same sans Geralt speaking of it aloud to another person. Jaskier glances down at his own hands in his lap for a moment before looking to Yennefer.]
[It's good that she's almost ready to tell him. It's not... Well, no. It is deeply frustrating to Geralt this time around to have her suddenly vanish from his life without explanation or any opportunity to talk it through. But beneath that frustration is the hurt. The ache that Jaskier knows Geralt feels because he feels he's done something wrong and hasn't been provided the opportunity to fix it. But then there's Yennefer's own aches, too. The anxiety that she's destroyed not just what they were back home, but everything they've built here, too. Just when all those doubts of her own had finally begun to ease about them, too. And then there's...]
[Well, that doesn't particularly matter right this moment. There will be time for that later at some point after the dust has settled and Jaskier will figure it out as he always does.]
[It's good that she's almost ready to tell him. Hopefully soon. And then no one needs to hold their breath any longer waiting to see what fractures and what pieces need picking back up.]
Well, you ladies must be exhausted after such a long day. [Jaskier pats Yennefer on the knee with a smile before pushing himself to stand up.] But like I said, you need more pillows, you're going to have to find them yourself. [He clicks his tongue as he begins to step away.] I really should have just brought you a rock from outside. It's what a horrid thief such as yourself deserves.
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(contrary to popular belief but yennefer isn't really thrilled about the idea of human experimentation either. not after her own experiences. or geralt's. not that she's planning on making anything as tolling as the trial of the grasses but still. if there was another way she would take it. but she doesn't see one. but she won't do it until she's reasonably sure she has something worth taking the risk on.
she was going to say more on that subject but then he mentions geralt and pulls away, making jokes as he always does. but yennefer doesn't need to read minds to know that's a defense mechanism. or know that it's been hard on him being stuck in the middle of things. that things may be harder for him once the pieces all fall apart as she's so certain they will. the fact that she can poke around in people's minds only confirms her suspicions of why he's pulling away.
without thinking she leans forward to grab his hand, scaring poor calanthe out of her lap in the process. what she wants to say she isn't sure. it isn't in yennefer to thank people. but whether she expresses that gratitude or not violet eyes meet all too bright blue ones and she probably gives herself away more than she means to in that gaze. it reminds her a little of the one they shared on the boat, the one that stirred her into action when she realized he was in trouble.)
What? No good luck or good riddance this time? I'd think you'd be happy to have me out of your hair soon.
(it's meant to be a joke but her voice comes out softer, more intimate than she intends.)
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[He lets out a breath of laughter.]
Unfortunately, my dear lady, I believe like certain other ships of yours, that one has also sailed, wrecked, and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Although not for a lack of trying, mind you. [Jaskier squeezes her hand lightly, but much like her it's more his eyes than anything that gives away what he means to say.] I recall trying for a good number of years to be rid of you, but you've proven an even more troublesome and persistent parasite than I thought possible.
So, I'm afraid I'm quite stuck with you. And you with me.
[I love you. Despite how hard it is, I love you.]
[And it is hard. It hurts to some extent or another, in varying degrees from moment to moment since he's found himself caught in the middle of the storm that is Geralt and Yennefer. But still, Jaskier is unwavering. His love doesn't fade, bend, or break under any of it or when he feels paralyzed by indecision of what's the right course of action to take next.]
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(yennefer is not by nature a touchy-feely person. touch is usually purposeful, calculated, a manipulation as much as everything else can be. but with jaskier...she just finds herself acting on impulse. maybe because it feels safe too, and has since even before she got her memories updated. his gaze his so soft and his words so earnest she wonders for a moment what it would be like to kiss him -- to really kiss him, without hell's influence or machinations behind it. it's a thought she tries to push away as quickly as it crops up. she doesn't need to put him even more in the middle of things between her and geralt.
but a selfish part of her wants to. she wants to believe she deserves this kind of tenderness, this kind of loyalty and belief that she'll do the right thing, even if it takes her a moment to get there.)
I suppose I could do worse than being stuck with such a loyal magpie.
(you shouldn't. when she glimpses his thoughts of love all she can think of is that he shouldn't. for so many reasons. but one can't control their heart, much as she has tried, time and time again.)
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Back on that again, are we? [He clicks his tongue.] I'm going to have to stop giving you presents altogether for you to abandon that, aren't I? Absurd... Well! Ignoring your nonsense as usual and to your point, yes. You could do infinitely worse with the lot around here.
I am fairly certain most of them wouldn't have the tolerance or stomach for watching you gobble down bats or bugs or whatever it is you eat when you refuse to come out of your cave and grace us with your presence. Fortunately, our years together make me rather immune to it. I only feel mild nausea at this point after a few hours with you and can manage a light snack within minutes of trying to get the smell and horror out of my mind.
[Jaskier pats the back of her hand in his before lightly rubbing it as one might when offering consolation.]
Perhaps in another decade or two, when we figure out how to keep you from biting stray animals and frothing at the mouth the moment someone makes eye contact, we'll manage another friend for you. There's hope for you yet, Yennefer!
[It's really been a long time since Jaskier's pettier insults have had any bite to them. He hasn't attempted to needle her into a terrible or otherwise frustrated mood in a very long time. But since Yennefer awoke with memories, there's been a gentleness there against all odds. It's not so much that Jaskier's insults have become toothless so much as they tend to err on the side of playful. Almost like sharing in a joke that no one else could possibly understand save the two of them.]
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(his insults are playful and his threats benign. she doubts he'll stop bringing her things any time soon, even if he doesn't have to prove his usefulness to her anymore like he did when she didn't remember everything that went down back in their own world.)
I don't think you're in any place to mock what I eat. I don't pick up random bowls in a witcher's lab and start munching on who knows what like it's sweets. You're like a child, take my eyes off you for five minutes and who knows what you'll put in your mouth.
(her barbs are equally playful, accompanied by an arched brow, as if daring him to try to argue against her point.)
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First of all, madam, I knew what I was eating, alright? Yeah, I did. [...Does she believe him? She probably shouldn't. But he doesn't leave her any room to make any sort of argument or poke holes in his defense. It is, after all, not much of a defense, so he must move onto clearly better points in his argument.] Second, that was months ago to me, Yennefer. Old news. Ancient history! Much like your sense of fashion, I must say. So, if you're going to offer criticism about me, perhaps try for something a little more recent, won't you? And third, I don't just put whatever is lying around in my mouth and swallow it! If you think you've ever seen me do as much, those lovely eyes that allow you to navigate those sewers you so prefer are clearly beginning to fail you.
[So there.]
[Forty-three or three to four? Who can say?]
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(there's so much she could say to all of that. like. a lot. there's a lot to unpack there. but instead she simply smiles at him, a mixture of teasing and real affection there, a smile that actually reaches her eyes for once. speaking of....)
You think my eyes are pretty.
(yeah, that was clearly the thing to take away there.)
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What? No. No, I didn't say that. That was sarcasm, Yennefer. Everyone knows you have beady eyes. One might even perhaps describe them as shifty given your tendency for nefarious plots. Not pretty eyes.
[Jaskier is completely full of it and Yennefer doesn't even need to begin to read his mind to know that.]
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Some might argue that prettiness helps with my nefarious plots.
(she was taught how to use her words and beauty as weapons as much as her magic, after all. but mostly she's just continuing to give him shit because she can.)
It's okay, I won't tell anyone you find them pretty. It can be our secret.
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Even if that were true, you know as well as I that it wouldn't distract me. Everyone else might trip all over themselves for the sake of your looks, Yennefer, but I could never be counted among them.
[And that is mostly true. It's absolutely untrue the idea that Jaskier doesn't find her beautiful. Anyone with eyes would find her beautiful even in the absence of attraction to her particular sort of beauty. But there is still truth in the notion that Jaskier's not about to suddenly become blinded by her looks. That's not even truthfully what he finds to be so appealing about her anyway. It's merely a bonus.]
Beady. And starting to collect horrendous dark circles and bags beneath them, too. You really should sleep. Or find some virgin blood to rub in or whatever it is you do.
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It's true. Not that I've ever bothered putting the effort into charming you.
(even when they first met it had been more about scaring and intimidating him into making wishes than anything else. why charm someone when you can threaten their vocal chords and potentially get more results?)
I don't get dark circles. But good try Bard. (she could use a nap or twenty though, she hasn't been sleeping great what with...everything...)
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Uh-huh. And you've never had a bad hair day in your entire life, right?
[He raises an eyebrow because they both know she can't possibly begin to claim she's always had perfect hair all the time. Not to say that she didn't do well enough when crawling out of a sewer or while she was ill not that long ago. Considering both circumstances, she did quite well, actually! But it was far from her usual presentation and were it in Yennefer's ability to control, she wouldn't have likely set foot out in public in either circumstance.]
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Not in a while, at least.
(not just those times, but before aretuza as well. jaskier would probably never believe there was a time yennefer's hair was always a mess, covered in hay and who knows what else from sleeping out with the pigs but luckily for him, he's never going to know about it. not if yennefer has any say in it. she left that girl behind when she left aretuza.)
I seem to remember someone being quite willing to help me out the last time I had one.
(yes yennefer, he braided your hair because he figured you'd only accept his comfort if it was practical. )
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[Even now, Jaskier protects his full reasons for wanting to braid her hair that night. Not that he thinks Yennefer would be particularly angry to know the full extent of his reasons for it. Not now. It just seems something better left unsaid is all.]
fin?
(she doesn't press. it's not a pleasant time for either one of them to remember.)
I'll see what I can find on the wolves