[Jaskier opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't have an immediate answer prepared. Yennefer has never questioned him before. Sure, she's made little remarks about his gifts off and on, always attempting to get him to admit they were gifts. He's always had something to say for that even if it didn't come to him immediately. But she's never questioned why Jaskier was ever around. He closes his mouth, pursing his lips because he has nothing. There's really not even a vaguely convincing excuse he could give as he can with all his gifts. Still, he tries for a moment or two longer because the excuses have always been to her benefit. They avoid any acknowledgment of the toll this entire thing with Mammon might have taken on her. They don't put her in a position where she needs to contend with a friendship she hasn't really experienced in the way Jaskier has for herself yet. But he comes up completely dry for this one.]
Well, largely because of the things I can't tell you, [he admits a little easier than he expected to. The next part is a little more challenging because he can't think of a way to phrase it that isn't walking straight into any implication that Yennefer needs any sort of help. He tries his best to minimize it all the same.] And I know, I know, you don't need anyone but yourself and blah, blah, blah. That's fine. I'm not doubting that you can take care of yourself or that I'm the last person you would ever need if you ever needed anybody.
[He waves a dismissive hand as though pre-empting any of her protests or arguments for what he's about to say next.]
But none of that changes the fact I still haven't seen or spoken with you since the hospital. So... [Jaskier nods a little.] Yes. I was willing to wait quite a while to see you because even if I reasonably know you're fine, regardless of your reasons for it, you put yourself at great risk.
[He shrugs a shoulder then.]
And I still needed to see you were alright for myself. [Jaskier's lips curve into a slight smile that never quite reflects in his eyes because he's beginning to brace himself. He doesn't anticipate any amount of preamble negating any potential offense Yennefer could take and he fully anticipates her lashing out. The small amount of humor he tries to inject into it is his attempt at trying to distract from what feels like the impending sting when she strikes.] If that makes you rethink the whole magpie thing and change it to a mother hen, then so be it. I happily accept that and whatever other grief you wish to give me for giving a shit.
[He fully braces himself then by trying to pre-empt her rejection.]
That being said, not that you need my permission, but if you'd truly like me to fuck off, just say the word.
[Jaskier should perhaps conclude by saying that nothing could possibly bring him greater pleasure than being told to leave and not have to contend with her any longer than is strictly necessary. He doesn't though. Because even if it is Yennefer and even if she's not entirely as she was the last time he saw her in their world, it hardly matters. Selfishly, he's felt a modicum of usefulness here, tending to Yennefer's needs in a way he doesn't think anyone else has. Or, at the very least, he can't see Geralt doing any of this because he hasn't the first clue how. And Tech? As far as Jaskier can tell, Tech has wisely kept their relationship strictly businesslike in its presentation. And not to say that Yennefer doesn't have other people here working with her on this problem aside from Geralt and Tech, but would she allow them to do this? So, to some extent, it would kill Jaskier a little to hear from even Yennefer that he's unwanted or more trouble than he's worth.]
[And perhaps more selfishly, now that he's seen even so much as a glimpse of the person Yennefer can be beneath everything he finds contemptible about her, he doesn't want to give up on her either. As fucked up as it probably is that he would ever feel this way about someone who once threatened his life, he doesn't want Yennefer to feel alone either and have that goodness within her snuffed out before it's had a chance to truly blossom.]
(there's a strange relief at his words, though she wouldn't readily admit it. she's suspected something changed between them in the future, making them something closer to friends, but this is the first time he's admitted it. and she knows, she knows, she was the one who told him she didn't want to know anything. she never claimed to be consistent.
especially lately when her already volatile emotions feel like they're dialed up to eleven. the worst part is she knows how horrible the hospital was for him and geralt but it had felt good for her to be able to actually do something. to feel like she was doing more than just spinning her wheels.)
You're not the last person, bard. I can think of a few that rank lower.
(which is practically a compliment coming from yennefer.)
And if I was going to tell you to fuck off, I would have by now.
(and it'd be easy to, it'd be easy to lash out and push him away and be done with it but.....
it's been nice, if she's honest, having someone checking in on her with no -- well minimal ulterior motives, at the very least. she's used to being an island and she knows how to be one well, but there's something to be said about not having to be. and obviously his actions have mattered to her or she wouldn't have bothered saving him in the first place. sure, that would have made getting geralt out more difficult, but it wasn't the only reason she did it. nor was it the reason she comforted jaskier like she did -- or give geralt shit about what she had heard in the bard's mind.)
I'm fine, Bard. I didn't get caught, and I came out much better than most people I ran into there. Nothing you need to lament over, though I see now the idea of my suffering brings you great distress, and not that I can blame you about that, but I will be fine.
(will she? that's a question. she may have survived the hospital ordeal better than most but she's far from fine. still, she's giving him the option to leave, if he wants to take it, trying to respect their usual banter and barbs after what she just admitted.)
Still, I thought I might at least get a thank you.
[Backhanded or not, it still counts as a compliment coming from Yennefer. Or, at least, Jaskier is willing to accept it as one. In any case, he doesn't look altogether displeased or offended when she doesn't indicate what "a few" actually translated to in terms of number.]
[Which also leads him to be a little less convinced when she says she will be fine. No, no, he meant what he said. He knows Yennefer is more than capable of taking matters into her own hands and finding her way to coming out on top. But how bad will it get before she does? How much of that might she end up self-inflicting? Jaskier's uncertain of the answer to either question and has to make a concerted effort not to dwell on it.]
[He scoffs a little.]
You got your ale. Don't get greedy. [He shakes his head, looking off to the side, muttering to himself,] Does something kind and expects a bloody feast to be held in her honor. Ridiculous...
[Jaskier looks at Yennefer again.]
Alright, one more thing, [he says, holding up a finger to indicate that she's only receiving one final gift today.] But that's all you get because you, madam, are becoming spoiled and entitled. More so than usual.
[And perhaps in the most magpie of potential gifts that Jaskier could possibly give Yennefer, he produces a jasper stone that's a little smaller than a coin and offers it to her.]
You witches are always messing about with plants and rocks, yeah?
[Jaskier still remembers what Yennefer said about jasper, but he feigns ignorance of it now. Maybe she'll suspect he knows. Maybe she won't. Either way, Jaskier intends to play it off entirely as he saw a smooth and pretty rock, and blindly assumed she might have use of it somehow all the while secretly hoping that it might serve as a reminder. Because Yennefer's rage is powerful and terrifyingly so. But there is more to her and her power than all of that. Something that will see her through this incomplete spell. Something Jaskier did not just witness but felt for himself as he held so tightly to her hand throughout the hospital.]
[She might not want to talk about it and that's... Well, it's not really fine, but Jaskier understands better than Yennefer perhaps understands or realizes her reservations for speaking of it. But even if she never speaks of it again, Jaskier is determined she never forgets it.]
(yen might not use her words, but she is grateful for jaskier's visits, even if she acts annoyed by his gifts half the time. it's just...she's not used to people doing those sorts of things for her without expecting anything in return. not that geralt doesn't have his own way of helping but....well that's as complicated and messy as it's always been, if not more so now. but jaskier brings her things without expecting much in return and she never knows what to make of it.
so she defaults to the snarky banter that comes naturally to both of them most of the time. she raises a brow when he calls her greedy.)
And whose fault is that, exactly?
(she's always been a little bit greedy, someone who was almost never satisfied with what she had. sometimes she wonders if that's what drew mammon, an apparent lord of greed, to her. she tries not to think about it too much, just like she tries not to think of whether the alterations on her appearance had been part of the appeal too. from what she understands, he likes his experiments.
but those thoughts are put away when he hands her the jasper. it's smooth and warm in her hand.)
Active Jasper. It provides warmth, energy and balance. It helps turns wrongs into rights.
(which could be useful. or at least comforting to have. not that she needs comfort mind you....but if she did....it's a thoughtful gift, even if he couldn't have possibly known the meaning of it. as for the hospital....well with what he said about her hands and holding them earlier she doesn't feel exactly welcome to open that door again. she assumes he doesn't want to talk about it. she can't blame him, really.)
Oh, does it? [Most of the time when Jaskier lies, it's much like a child pretending they haven't devoured all the sweets while the evidence is still plainly there on their face. But with this, Jaskier is actually able to pass it off as though this is brand new information as he offers a little shrug.] I just thought it was a nice rock.
But all the better if you have some sort of use for it.
You just saw a shiny rock and picked it up for me? (there's an almost teasing grin on her lips -- but don't mistake that for fondness jaskier!!! there is no fondness here. never mind the rescue and the hug. irrelevent.)
[Jaskier closes his mouth and ceases his stammering, frowning a little. Because he technically did just say that even if that's absolutely not true. But he can't exactly defend himself without letting it slip that he already knew what active jasper was for! Pursing his lips, Jaskier bobs his head a little as he tries to come up with literally anything else for a defense.]
It's okay my dear magpie, I won't let anyone know you've chosen me to give your gifts to.
(is she just fucking with him a little now....maybe. but there's a hint of genuineness. the stone itself was surprisingly thoughtful, even if he didn't know what it represented.)
I'm sure I'll manage to find some use for it. Though I disagree with your earlier comment, I am fairly certain my hands are softer, smooth as this rock is.
[His discomfort at my dear magpie is both palpable and quite visible as he does very little to control his expression as he shudders a little. Even the Yennefer he knows back home wouldn't likely be so prone to such a blatantly affectionate name as that! It's unnerving.]
Although I shall not be testing that theory of yours, I believe the only soft thing here is you. Saving me, admitting you don't mind me all that much, and now affectionate pet names? [He starts the short walk to his own suite door, turning to still face Yennefer as he passes her.] Yennefer, you keep this up, people are going to start getting the wrong idea about us and think we're friends. I know it would be a great boon to you for such an association, but I'm afraid my fragile reputation here couldn't possibly weather it.
(she can sense the discomfort radiating off of him and mission accomplished. she has no intention to suddenly start using it as a pet name all the time, but once? to throw him off? worth it.
well, it was until she hears what he has to say. he wasn't supposed to remember her saying she didn't mind him.)
Believe me bard, I don't need you to improve my reputation. It's doing just fine. If anything, considering I have been here much longer, the association would be a boon to you, not the other way around.
Yeah, see, you've never had to meet you before. So... [Jaskier makes a face of mock pity.] But don't you worry, witch. I gain enough devoted fans, I might someday acknowledge you around others besides Geralt.
Please. You only think they're devoted -- most of your fans, if you can call them that, are devoted to trying to get you to shut up. (this is much more familiar, sniping with him then giving too much thoughts on all the gifts he brought with him.)
Oh, believe me, [Jaskier says with a crooked grin.] I am well-aware of all their efforts to shut me up.
[He winks at her, letting that be that rather than taking another potshot at her since he imagines it will be just as effective, and turns back around to let himself into his own suite.]
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Well, largely because of the things I can't tell you, [he admits a little easier than he expected to. The next part is a little more challenging because he can't think of a way to phrase it that isn't walking straight into any implication that Yennefer needs any sort of help. He tries his best to minimize it all the same.] And I know, I know, you don't need anyone but yourself and blah, blah, blah. That's fine. I'm not doubting that you can take care of yourself or that I'm the last person you would ever need if you ever needed anybody.
[He waves a dismissive hand as though pre-empting any of her protests or arguments for what he's about to say next.]
But none of that changes the fact I still haven't seen or spoken with you since the hospital. So... [Jaskier nods a little.] Yes. I was willing to wait quite a while to see you because even if I reasonably know you're fine, regardless of your reasons for it, you put yourself at great risk.
[He shrugs a shoulder then.]
And I still needed to see you were alright for myself. [Jaskier's lips curve into a slight smile that never quite reflects in his eyes because he's beginning to brace himself. He doesn't anticipate any amount of preamble negating any potential offense Yennefer could take and he fully anticipates her lashing out. The small amount of humor he tries to inject into it is his attempt at trying to distract from what feels like the impending sting when she strikes.] If that makes you rethink the whole magpie thing and change it to a mother hen, then so be it. I happily accept that and whatever other grief you wish to give me for giving a shit.
[He fully braces himself then by trying to pre-empt her rejection.]
That being said, not that you need my permission, but if you'd truly like me to fuck off, just say the word.
[Jaskier should perhaps conclude by saying that nothing could possibly bring him greater pleasure than being told to leave and not have to contend with her any longer than is strictly necessary. He doesn't though. Because even if it is Yennefer and even if she's not entirely as she was the last time he saw her in their world, it hardly matters. Selfishly, he's felt a modicum of usefulness here, tending to Yennefer's needs in a way he doesn't think anyone else has. Or, at the very least, he can't see Geralt doing any of this because he hasn't the first clue how. And Tech? As far as Jaskier can tell, Tech has wisely kept their relationship strictly businesslike in its presentation. And not to say that Yennefer doesn't have other people here working with her on this problem aside from Geralt and Tech, but would she allow them to do this? So, to some extent, it would kill Jaskier a little to hear from even Yennefer that he's unwanted or more trouble than he's worth.]
[And perhaps more selfishly, now that he's seen even so much as a glimpse of the person Yennefer can be beneath everything he finds contemptible about her, he doesn't want to give up on her either. As fucked up as it probably is that he would ever feel this way about someone who once threatened his life, he doesn't want Yennefer to feel alone either and have that goodness within her snuffed out before it's had a chance to truly blossom.]
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(there's a strange relief at his words, though she wouldn't readily admit it. she's suspected something changed between them in the future, making them something closer to friends, but this is the first time he's admitted it. and she knows, she knows, she was the one who told him she didn't want to know anything. she never claimed to be consistent.
especially lately when her already volatile emotions feel like they're dialed up to eleven. the worst part is she knows how horrible the hospital was for him and geralt but it had felt good for her to be able to actually do something. to feel like she was doing more than just spinning her wheels.)
You're not the last person, bard. I can think of a few that rank lower.
(which is practically a compliment coming from yennefer.)
And if I was going to tell you to fuck off, I would have by now.
(and it'd be easy to, it'd be easy to lash out and push him away and be done with it but.....
it's been nice, if she's honest, having someone checking in on her with no -- well minimal ulterior motives, at the very least. she's used to being an island and she knows how to be one well, but there's something to be said about not having to be. and obviously his actions have mattered to her or she wouldn't have bothered saving him in the first place. sure, that would have made getting geralt out more difficult, but it wasn't the only reason she did it. nor was it the reason she comforted jaskier like she did -- or give geralt shit about what she had heard in the bard's mind.)
I'm fine, Bard. I didn't get caught, and I came out much better than most people I ran into there. Nothing you need to lament over, though I see now the idea of my suffering brings you great distress, and not that I can blame you about that, but I will be fine.
(will she? that's a question. she may have survived the hospital ordeal better than most but she's far from fine. still, she's giving him the option to leave, if he wants to take it, trying to respect their usual banter and barbs after what she just admitted.)
Still, I thought I might at least get a thank you.
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[Which also leads him to be a little less convinced when she says she will be fine. No, no, he meant what he said. He knows Yennefer is more than capable of taking matters into her own hands and finding her way to coming out on top. But how bad will it get before she does? How much of that might she end up self-inflicting? Jaskier's uncertain of the answer to either question and has to make a concerted effort not to dwell on it.]
[He scoffs a little.]
You got your ale. Don't get greedy. [He shakes his head, looking off to the side, muttering to himself,] Does something kind and expects a bloody feast to be held in her honor. Ridiculous...
[Jaskier looks at Yennefer again.]
Alright, one more thing, [he says, holding up a finger to indicate that she's only receiving one final gift today.] But that's all you get because you, madam, are becoming spoiled and entitled. More so than usual.
[And perhaps in the most magpie of potential gifts that Jaskier could possibly give Yennefer, he produces a jasper stone that's a little smaller than a coin and offers it to her.]
You witches are always messing about with plants and rocks, yeah?
[Jaskier still remembers what Yennefer said about jasper, but he feigns ignorance of it now. Maybe she'll suspect he knows. Maybe she won't. Either way, Jaskier intends to play it off entirely as he saw a smooth and pretty rock, and blindly assumed she might have use of it somehow all the while secretly hoping that it might serve as a reminder. Because Yennefer's rage is powerful and terrifyingly so. But there is more to her and her power than all of that. Something that will see her through this incomplete spell. Something Jaskier did not just witness but felt for himself as he held so tightly to her hand throughout the hospital.]
[She might not want to talk about it and that's... Well, it's not really fine, but Jaskier understands better than Yennefer perhaps understands or realizes her reservations for speaking of it. But even if she never speaks of it again, Jaskier is determined she never forgets it.]
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(yen might not use her words, but she is grateful for jaskier's visits, even if she acts annoyed by his gifts half the time. it's just...she's not used to people doing those sorts of things for her without expecting anything in return. not that geralt doesn't have his own way of helping but....well that's as complicated and messy as it's always been, if not more so now. but jaskier brings her things without expecting much in return and she never knows what to make of it.
so she defaults to the snarky banter that comes naturally to both of them most of the time. she raises a brow when he calls her greedy.)
And whose fault is that, exactly?
(she's always been a little bit greedy, someone who was almost never satisfied with what she had. sometimes she wonders if that's what drew mammon, an apparent lord of greed, to her. she tries not to think about it too much, just like she tries not to think of whether the alterations on her appearance had been part of the appeal too. from what she understands, he likes his experiments.
but those thoughts are put away when he hands her the jasper. it's smooth and warm in her hand.)
Active Jasper. It provides warmth, energy and balance. It helps turns wrongs into rights.
(which could be useful. or at least comforting to have. not that she needs comfort mind you....but if she did....it's a thoughtful gift, even if he couldn't have possibly known the meaning of it. as for the hospital....well with what he said about her hands and holding them earlier she doesn't feel exactly welcome to open that door again. she assumes he doesn't want to talk about it. she can't blame him, really.)
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But all the better if you have some sort of use for it.
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You just saw a shiny rock and picked it up for me? (there's an almost teasing grin on her lips -- but don't mistake that for fondness jaskier!!! there is no fondness here. never mind the rescue and the hug. irrelevent.)
You really have become quite the magpie.
(sorry that's sticking.)
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[Jaskier closes his mouth and ceases his stammering, frowning a little. Because he technically did just say that even if that's absolutely not true. But he can't exactly defend himself without letting it slip that he already knew what active jasper was for! Pursing his lips, Jaskier bobs his head a little as he tries to come up with literally anything else for a defense.]
Shut up...
[1 - Yennefer, 0 - Jaskier.]
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It's okay my dear magpie, I won't let anyone know you've chosen me to give your gifts to.
(is she just fucking with him a little now....maybe. but there's a hint of genuineness. the stone itself was surprisingly thoughtful, even if he didn't know what it represented.)
I'm sure I'll manage to find some use for it. Though I disagree with your earlier comment, I am fairly certain my hands are softer, smooth as this rock is.
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Although I shall not be testing that theory of yours, I believe the only soft thing here is you. Saving me, admitting you don't mind me all that much, and now affectionate pet names? [He starts the short walk to his own suite door, turning to still face Yennefer as he passes her.] Yennefer, you keep this up, people are going to start getting the wrong idea about us and think we're friends. I know it would be a great boon to you for such an association, but I'm afraid my fragile reputation here couldn't possibly weather it.
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(she can sense the discomfort radiating off of him and mission accomplished. she has no intention to suddenly start using it as a pet name all the time, but once? to throw him off? worth it.
well, it was until she hears what he has to say. he wasn't supposed to remember her saying she didn't mind him.)
Believe me bard, I don't need you to improve my reputation. It's doing just fine. If anything, considering I have been here much longer, the association would be a boon to you, not the other way around.
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Please. You only think they're devoted -- most of your fans, if you can call them that, are devoted to trying to get you to shut up. (this is much more familiar, sniping with him then giving too much thoughts on all the gifts he brought with him.)
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[He winks at her, letting that be that rather than taking another potshot at her since he imagines it will be just as effective, and turns back around to let himself into his own suite.]